Hi friends! I’m so sorry I’ve gone incognito. 2018 has been such a whirlwind and since the last time I posted, so much has happened that I haven’t been able to focus on anything else. So, today, I return to update you with what has been going on in my life since I last posted. As I began this post, I decided to title it, “God’s Plans are ALWAYS Better” because His plans are immensely better than anything I could have thought up or planned out myself. I’ve learned that first hand over the last couple of months how God can take terrible situations and use them in ways that have drawn me nearer to Him than ever before! You can read these posts about my miscarriage Here and Here.
Since then, God has been showing me how he can not only take a terrible situation and use it for His glory but also that His plans are way better than my own.
I especially learned this lesson at the end of March and beginning of April! It was a Wednesday night; just a few nights before my 28th birthday! Zach and I were laying in bed reading our Bibles and all of a sudden I feel him place his hand on my abdomen. I looked over at him, slightly astonished at what he was doing because this isn’t something he does on a normal basis. I asked him, “What are you doing?” No response. Then, I asked him again, “Zach, what are you doing? Are you praying for my womb?” No response. As silence went on for a few seconds, I began to think about how I had felt pinching and weird sensations in my uterine area for a couple of days prior but I brushed it off and disregarded it because I just assumed I was wishfully thinking. However, after a few moments of silence, I said, “Come to think of it, my uterus has been feeling weird the last couple of days…” and Zach said, “That’s because you’re pregnant.” Surprised, and reluctantly excited, I said, “How do you know that?” and Zach answered, “I just have a feeling.” Now, Zach is very sensitive to the Holy Spirit and so when things are revealed to him, his feelings are usually always right. He knew my friend, Laura, was pregnant before she even knew, he knew my friend, Christie, was pregnant before she shared the news with me, he had a feeling I was pregnant the week before I took my positive pregnancy test in January and he had a feeling that my friend, Kira, was pregnant before she even found out! So, since I knew about this gift of his and his track record, I just knew that I was pregnant, also! However, my period wasn’t expected for another few days, so I forcefully made myself wait until the following Monday before I would test. I woke up on and off that whole night and would make myself go back to sleep until I finally reached 3:30am on Monday morning! I peed on that stick and sure enough, that ClearBlue digital pregnancy test said, “Pregnant.” Immediately, a sigh of relief and joy came over me! God had blessed us again with a little miracle, this time, our rainbow baby, and only my second cycle after my miscarriage! After trying for our first pregnancy for over a year, I was hopeful that we might get pregnant quicker the next time, however, I told myself that it would probably take six months or so, and I would have been thankful for that! But just two months later?! This was unbelievable! God’s plans really ARE BETTER!
Mark 10:27 “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man, it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.'”
1 Samuel 1:27 “For this child, I have prayed.”
Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
I’ve always been that person to say, “God’s plans are better.” But deep down, I’m not sure that I truly believed it. I don’t think I began to believe it until after our miscarriage. I listened to a Chuck Swindoll sermon about letting go of my plans and letting God take over. I told myself that in His timing, God’s plans would make sense, regardless if he blessed us with a child or not, and that if I’m truly desiring God’s plans over my own, then it wouldn’t matter if we had a baby or not but that following His will would be immensely better than any worldly desires I may have (including a baby).
Now, here I am, about to transition into the second trimester, feeling so thankful for God’s blessings! Some days, I still can’t believe that God chose to bless us with a little miracle and counted us worthy to experience this long trial that was infertility and loss. I’ve felt closer to God within these last five months than I ever have before and I definitely think it’s because I’m learning to trust His plans over my own, especially with this little life! And ever since I’ve started to have that mindset and truly believe that God’s plans are better, I can’t even begin to tell you the freedom and happiness I’ve experienced! Even now, God has blessed us with a little baby and I can stand firmly and say that HIS PLANS ARE BETTER! Put your trust in Him, my friends, even when it’s hard to let go of your worldly desires. I was there, too. I didn’t want to let go of the desire to be a mother and I wasn’t sure that I could be okay without having a child of my own, but now I’m learning that no matter what, God loves us more than we could ever imagine and He has our best interest in mind. Even if that includes infertility, miscarriage, or a different trial. Just trust in Him and trust that HIS PLANS ARE ALWAYS BETTER!